User talk:Wikiatrikia1124
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Wide-eyed Jason page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:37, August 6, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:41, August 6, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story Your story was deleted because it was well below our quality standards. I strongly suggest carefully proof-reading your story next time as you've overlooked a lot of issues here. This story is riddled with wording, punctuation, run-on sentences, redundancies, and story issues. Awkward wording: "It was Saturday, December 1st, 2014, my birthday, my age usually followed the year so I was turning 15 to follow the coming year,", "the month of December was the worse memories of my life.", "As if it were a curse, the one month my age hadn’t followed the year, bad and strange things had always happened to me.", "the blood red colored looking more liquid up close", " the person mouth hitched upright into a wicked grin", "I was able to hear was my own breath, gasping silently I testing my theory by saying, ‘Hello?’ which my voice echoed out as if I were in a large area with metal walls.", etc. If English isn't your first language, I strongly suggest enlisting the help of someone who is fluent in English to help you as those lines make very little sense. Punctuation issues: "the scene I saw only being a reflection in the mirror which I was staring at, the boy in the mirror(apostrophe missing as it's a possessive word)s eyes widened even more as he dropped the cleaver and the head", "the person('s) mouth hitched upright into a wicked grin", etc. Redundancies: "The only reactions I could have were what anyone would had, freaking out and crying, it always hurt me to know what happened in these cursed months known as December, but 2014 was the absolute worst year I had ever experienced." You've already explained that December is an unlucky month multiple times, three times in the first three paragraphs feels excessive and un-needed. It isn't bringing anything new to the table and just rehashing the same information. Avoid re-stating words multiple times in the same sentence. "Waiting a few moments I decided to reach out and grip the door knob that belonged to the glass door, slowly turning it I pushed it forward before letting go of the door knob, the door slowly swinging open". Run-on sentences: "I would always stare right into her eyes and smile full heartedly which she returned, a week had passed and it seemed as though nothing would happen that year which put my family somewhat at ease, they had started to at least talk to me again which I enjoyed for the time, however, it didn’t last long, on the morning of the second week, everything was normal, the day passed like any other until I got home, my family usually wasn’t home until later in the day so it wasn’t unusual to be alone.", "What was unusual is that the house was completely silent, not even the wind blowing disturbed the silence, turning on the television and putting the volume up didn’t even seem to work, all noise had been nullified inside the walls I had lived in my whole life, the only thing I was able to hear was my own breath, gasping silently I testing my theory by saying, ‘Hello?’ which my voice echoed out as if I were in a large area with metal walls.", etc. Story issues: "My name isn’t very important right now as I’d rather keep myself concealed, either way," Looks at title of story, maybe they need to work a bit on confidentiality. This line comes off as unnecessary as his identity is mentioned all through-out the story. "My name is Jason, and today is my birthday, I hope you celebrate with me through this holiday filled month." A birthday happens on a single day, how can it be a holiday filled month if it only happens on one day in December? You use a lot of cliches "listen to my life tale and judge me how you will…for what you are to read is truth." (#6) Additionally the twist makes no sense: "he dropped the cleaver and the head, realization washing over me as I lifted my hands up to see the blood over them, my eyes darting back to the mirror to look right into the eyes reflecting back at me." Why would he murder his friends, how is he capable of having a dissociative fugue state where he is capable of experiencing the events outside his body and not know it? This feels like a pretty generic MPD killer twist where the protagonist is really the killer that relies on the twist but doesn't set it up at all during the story. I'm sorry, but there are a lot more of these issues and the story doesn't feel very well composed or salvageable so I'm cutting it off here. I suggest carefully reading over the quality standards and taking your next entry to the writer's workshop (link above) as this is riddled with wording, punctuation, run-on sentences, redundancies, and story issues that result in the story failing to meet the bare minimum standards for this site. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:07, August 7, 2016 (UTC) :Ok. '' 'The mistakes are intentional as are the non-sensical/broken English wording and the poor writing' '' is not a really valid explanation and makes a really weak excuse at deflecting criticism. I suggest sitting down and actually working on your stories if you intend to post on this site, but to each their own. If you plan to be mediocre, I suggest finding a site that accepts low quality stories (troll pasta wiki and crappypasta wiki come to mind) as this wiki doesn't have any interest in them. Best of luck in your endeavors. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:27, August 7, 2016 (UTC) Jay Ten (talk) 01:35, August 7, 2016 (UTC)